


Fuck You I’m Gay

by AngelCuttingOnions



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Coming Out, Families of Choice, Gen, Heteronormativity, Humor, but unintentional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21612094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: The one where Angus steals Taako’s shirt to make a point.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Everyone, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 100





	Fuck You I’m Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t ask me where the fuck this came from I genuinely have no idea. Also I have literally no clue how to include Davenport or Lucretia so they’re there but I didn’t tag them because they don’t talk. (Or if you’re like me, Lucretia isn’t there because you’re petty.)

Heteronormativity was extremely real and you’d think with a queer-ass group like the Birds (No Bees Involved) they wouldn’t have that habit but nope. They’d ask dumb questions like when he was getting a girlfriend (that was actually just Merle) or grinned if he talked about one of his friends who happened to be of the female gender for more than three minutes. He makes a point to roll his eyes when this happens, but says nothing. 

“Heyyyy Agnes, how’s uhhhh Delia? Deborah?” Merle got the person’s name wrong about 80% of the time he was being nosy. 

“Actually his name is Peter now. He’s a guy.” Angus personally was not attracted to Peter, however he did want to see if Merle would assume as much even though he wasn’t a girl. 

“Oh. Okay cool.” Merle blinked and said nothing else. 

Angus adjusted his tie (He had stopped wearing bow-ties regularly at about age 15, he now wore regular neckties with his sweater vests) and marched into Taako’s room. The elf and his dead boyfriend weren’t home at the time, something about getting wine for family dinner that night, so Angus wasn’t worried about getting caught. 

Angus pulled open Taako’s top dresser drawer, scrunched up his face, slammed Taako’s top dresser drawer, then pulled open the second drawer. He rummaged through the shirts in the drawer before he found the one he wanted, closed the drawer carefully and went to his own room. 

He stayed in his room reading until he heard everyone else arrive, Taako and Kravitz included. Once everyone was there he changed his shirt, tucked it carefully into his jeans, nodded at his reflection and left his room. Magnus yelled across the house “ANGUUUUS FOOOOOOD.” Angus made his way into the kitchen where Lup and Taako where bickering about what spices belonged where as they finished the last of the cooking. 

Angus hopped up on the counter furthest from the twins, then continued to read his book. He only looked up when Taako threw a biscuit at him. “Ango! Get your ass germs off my counter you heathen! We have perfectly nice furniture designed for butts!” 

Angus looked Taako straight in the eye and pointed at his shirt. Taako’s eyes flicked down to it and he nodded. “Oh. Carry on then.” Angus continued to read until it was time for dinner. 

When the Birds (No Bees Included) and Angus gathered around the dining room table (made by Magnus who made sure to mention it multiple times) Angus was the last to take a seat. No one really looked twice at him until he pointedly cleared his throat. When all eyes were on him, he made his announcement. “You all are very heteronormative.” Everyone besides Taako suddenly seemed to notice what the boy was wearing. 

Barry held out his hand to Lup, and she groaned, pulling $15 out of her back pocket and slapping it into Barry’s open palm. “Damn it Angus! I thought you were bi how dare you!” 

Later when they realized why Angus seemed so fed up, Taako made an announcement. “Next person to ask anyone when they’re getting a significant other or say anything heteronormative loses all rights to shitting.” 

“I don’t have bodily functions, I’m dead.” Kravitz mentioned. 

“You have some, I know that for a fact.” Taako grinned. 

“CHILDREN PRESENT.” Barry screamed at the top of his lungs while Taako lost his figurative shit. 

~

Angus never returned Taako’s shirt, choosing to let the rainbow words “Fuck You I’m Gay” do his coming out for him whenever he started hanging around new people.

**Author's Note:**

> I have multiple TAZ fics but I haven’t posted any because anxiety so if you liked this lemme know?


End file.
